


So done

by Blairette



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Crack, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Anakin Skywalker Doesn't Turn to the Dark Side, Crack, Curses, F/M, Full of Mistakes, He still killed younglings, I'm french, No Beta We Die Like Clones, Off-screen child-birth, Padmé is pissed, Padmé swears like a sailor, RotS AU, Swearing, This Is STUPID, and short, kind of?, she is so done with their shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-18
Updated: 2021-03-18
Packaged: 2021-03-27 12:26:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30122733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blairette/pseuds/Blairette
Summary: Padmé is so Done™ with this shit
Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker, Padmé Amidala & Obi-Wan Kenobi, Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker
Comments: 6
Kudos: 29





	So done

**Author's Note:**

> This is pointless and just crack  
> Because no one should never piss a pregnant woman  
> I'm french, so excuse me if my English is kind of awkward!

“ANAKIN _KRIFFIN_ SKYWALKER!”

If her med-droid had been there, it would have told one Padmé Naberrie, former Queen Amidala, that stress was awful for her future child health. Moreover, this close to the due date could start the birth before the tiny being in her womb was ready.

But she didn’t care.

She. Was. Pissed.

But then again, after living through three years of war, several assassination attempts, surviving a deadly virus escaped from a separatist laboratory, challenging bills at the Senate while being secretly married to a Jedi and trying to hide one pregnancy from the public could take a toll someone ability to remain calm.

At least, her husband had the decency to look ashamed as she glared at him from the top of the ramp, one hand on her very huge belly, the other on her back because _gosh, the little one was heavy_.

“The fuck?!” she shrieked at the top of her lungs, “I swear you better have a good explanation for all this _shit_ because in less than twenty-four hours, the whole galaxy has been flipped upside-down, and I AM DONE!”

It was challenging to look menacing with how she waddled toward the younger man. Still, from the way Anakin was trying to shrink himself into oblivion, Padmé was pretty sure that she at least looked intimidating.

“The Chancellor revealed himself as a fucking dictator and declared that Jedis are traitor against the Republic. YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I WAS WORRIED ABOUT YOU-! Ow, I shouldn’t have yelled like that.” She gritted between her teeth as a sharp pain ran down her back at the outburst.

When her husband made a movement to help her, she slapped it away.

“Don’t.” she hissed, sending daggers at him with her eyes, “Because it _seems_ that I can’t trust you near our child or me because I was told that _you killed younglings!_ The FUCK, Anakin?!”

There was hurt in his dark eyes, and Padmé crushed the slight guilt she felt deep down in her soul because she needed to get her point across.

“Do you _truly believed_ that killing innocent people were going to save me from a possible death?! ARE YOU KRIFFIN IDIOT? I know that you have separation issues, but _this_ is taking the matter a little _too far_! Don’t you have mind healers or something in your freaking order? Why no one ever told you to talk to someone to deal with your trauma? I know that you Jedi were a little disconnected from reality, but seriously? Oh, speaking of Jedi- OBI-WAN KENOBI! BRING YOUR SORRY ARSE HERE, AND TAKE AN HOVERCHAIR BECAUSE MY FEET HURT!”

Padmé heard the distraught sound coming from her ship, but she didn’t move her glare from her husband, who looked utterly lost.

A few seconds later, the Jedi master was making his way toward them, and Padme fell gracelessly on the chair he had brought with a heavy sigh a relief.

“What?!” she snapped at them when she saw their disbelieved gazes, “I have a fucking force-sensitive child growing inside me, you truly thought that I wasn’t aware you were there, Obi-Wan? Give me some credit!” she grumbled, one hand rubbing circles against her belly, “Now we are all going to sit down, and you two are going to _talk_ to one other.”

Both Jedi looked at each other and say nothing for a moment. Around them, fire and lava burnt, and Padmé idly wondered if the sulfur vapour weren’t dangerous for her child as she let her husband and his best friend time to gather their thoughts.

After two long minutes of silence, she snapped once again.

“STOP BEING SO EMOTIONALLY CONSTIPATED AND TALK!”

And talk they did.

For hours.

There were shoutings, there were tears, there were disbelieved silences, and at some point, Anakin, dramatic as he was, tried to jump into the nearest pool of lava when the reality of _what happened_ and _what he had done_ come to his mind.

He had been lucky that neither Padmé nor Obi-Wan wanted him dead.

Oh, both of them were very angry against him, but seeing that they managed to stop his fall and brought him back to a semblance of light, his death wouldn’t have changed a thing.

They left the planet together when her waters finally broke under the stress of the last few days. And when Padmé saw her husband holding their daughter, Leia, she was glad to see no gold in his clear blue eyes anymore.

Obi-Wan still looked wary around Anakin, but one glare from her was enough to stop him. Instead, she mentioned him to take Luke into his arms.

“I’m fucking tired right now, and as much as I adore my two beautiful children, I really need to rest.” Padmé hissed around a yawn, “Be prepare because once I wake up, I’m going to tear the Chancellor a new one for all he had done. Use that time to finish to sort out things.”

As soon as the words left her mouth, she fell asleep, leaving the two Jedi dumbstruck with wailing newborns and a lot of awkward atmosphere between them.

Maybe things weren’t great for the moment, but at least the future looked a little bit brighter.


End file.
